i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
