I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
