32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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