What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize