can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Randomize
