haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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