I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
