I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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