I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
