when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
