is wine microwaveable?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
