The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
