I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
