I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
