she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
