I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I will die if light touches me.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Too much gin, very little bucket
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
