Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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