all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
