I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize