the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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