didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
