3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
