margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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