loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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