Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
