He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
