I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
