DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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