I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
