i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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