Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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