guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
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