i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
