so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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