Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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