Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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