She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize