my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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