I just threw up on my dentist
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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