Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
