Where did you get a picture of my penis
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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