D3 body, D1 cock
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
