I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
