Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize