Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
