The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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