Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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