our cab driver is having phone sex.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
