you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
