I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
