fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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