they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
