He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
