so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Randomize
