He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
