Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
