what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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