just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
