Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
