none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Randomize
