walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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