In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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