i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
