if i can run in heels then i can drive
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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