Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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