Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
