I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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